and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
