Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
