I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
