I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize