"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize