He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize