Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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