I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
