I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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