Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
