I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
