the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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