Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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