gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
