I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
