she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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