Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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