I look better un-naked...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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