? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
