Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
