do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and she was petting her beer can
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
