How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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