I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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