i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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