Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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