I wish I could punch you in the face.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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