Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
