rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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