ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
