have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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