elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
