she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
