Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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