I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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