New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
