I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
