I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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