Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
