in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Randomize
