Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
