so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
