What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
