Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
