Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
