I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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