She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
