and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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