That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize