If that was your dad, he is hot
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
