Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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