My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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