in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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