I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
