Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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