I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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