thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
