i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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