but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
