You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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