but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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