You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
