You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
