He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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