Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize