so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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