he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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