My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
