people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
