I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
