We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize