how can u be prego again
one two three fourrrrnication!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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