My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize