May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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