His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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