I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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